My Dream Girl Wish List (Updated)

Finally did it.

I managed to compile a list of points that I would like to have in a girlfriend. The requests or requirements (as the case may be) are not too demanding, individually, but put together I must admit that it would prove to be quite a task for anyone to find a girl that would meet every point here.

However, these are generally the things I look for in a girl, there are exceptions that are made but, overall the requirement is the same, the requests are simply perks, like icing on the cake.

Some points contradict each other, but that's what's fun about having a list like this. The idea of a list like this to most people is preposterous, and then to add contradictory points makes it all the more preposterous.

Read on, you'll see what I mean.

100 things I'd like to have in a girlfriend:

1) ENGLISH…..language and communication skills…..MUST

2) Must be smart

3) It's nice when you want me to help you out, I'm all for that, but if you know how to do it, and I know you know how to do it, but despite this, you ask me to help you with something stupid especially when you know I know you know how to do it, it just makes it an annoying task as opposed to superman coming to the rescue.

4) Witty

5) Thin

6) Little fat is ok

7) Short….my height or shorter

8) At least cute….being hot wouldn’t hurt

9) Chink would be nice...but not compulsory

10) Preferably not mallu

11) Being mallu is ok….as long as she doesnt use coconut oil on her hair everyday...and thinks that mallus are the greatest.

12)If she is mallu….she must realise that mallu are part of the reason that there is a population explosion….cant say india...coz alot of mallus are not in india

13) No frizzy hair

14) Curly….ok

15) Wavy….nice

16) Straight….nice

17) It shouldn't be so thick that wen you run ur fingers through it it feels like u've got ur hand in a bush

18) Sense of style….must

19) Good taste in clothes….preferable...but should also know how to carry it off

20) Must know how to act and behave in front of my friends

21) Must know how to act in leela palace at 2 a.m. No matter how drunk she is.....lol

22) Must love her parents

23) Parents being cool with her dating me would be nice

24) Must be honest with her folks and me.

25) Romantic

26) Love cartoons especially jackie chan adventures....;) thats the kid in me talkin btw....

27) Being rich wouldnt hurt…..atleast then ill be receiving presents as well instead of the usual give give give!!!!!

28) Must know that wen I give baby shoes….which I dont think will ever happen again, but just in case….its a sweet thought...not any reason for you to freak and make my shoulder sore

29) Bad taste in men….thats y she’d date me….lol....

30) Must know that pushin the button on the monitor twice does not restart the computer

31) It would be nice if she loved the mac as well…..;)

32) Must know the difference between corel draw and firefox

33) Would be nice if she knew how to use corel draw or photoshop

34) Must love food….especially subway and peperoni pizza….

35)Would be nice if she was christian...coz that way wen mom makes beef and pork she can eat it….it doesnt matter that she doesnt like beef or pork but just the thought that she will not eat certain types of meat depresses me coz I love eatin most meat….religion not a big thing on my list

36) Must know how to argue with me

37) Must be a drama queen and know the difference between drama and and real shit

38) Especially when it comes out of her mouth

39) Must know how to kiss...god please let her know how to kiss

40) Spontaneous

41) Dynamic

42) Would be nice if she stays somewhere close to my place that way I dont waste too much time traveling up and down…..travelling to banashankari and back everyday was killer.

43) Must be good with parents….and make a good impression on my parents…..it would be nice to be with someone that my parents are fond of…...that way christmas dinners can be spent with her at her place or mine.

44) Must know wat manolos are….please

45) Should not wear too much make up…..little eye liner or mascara is ok….subtle lipstick...if necessary…..that matches her skin tone...but gloss is better….cant believe I’m saying this.

46) Must understand the irrational love that guys have for their cars and must respect that….by not slamming the damn door

47) Would be a nice touch if she had a car and knew how to drive well.

48) Soft skin

49) Tom boyish character

50) Clean feet

51) Should not try n change my sexual orientation…..im straight and I will not be your gay best
friend and your boyfriend.....it cant work then

52) Around my age...otherwise its as good as cradle robbing….

53) Older women NO, BU, NON, LA, NYET...thats no in 5 languages

54) Must know wat ni hao ma and wan hai mean

55) Mallus logic is illogical most of the time and hypocritial sometimes….im a mallu deal with it

56) My father is a drama king….like father like son…..please be one too...be one for the love of being a drama queen and nothing else...its all an act btw….if you take ur drama or our drama seriously…..good bye

57) STUPIDITY is a big NO NO

58) I take my mothers trip with my fathers support...expect to have ur trip taken by both of us as well….so get close to my mom….she will show you how to deal with us

59) P.D.A.….nice touch

60) No heavy metal or goth freaks or freaks that think that the world will end when the next comet appears.

61) Must spark my curiosity and interest on a daily basis for at least 4 months

62) Must be able to argue sensibly....not talk about something that she has no idea about, one such person in a relationship like that is enough.

63) Must be willing to learn about new things and not think that she has learnt everything and
think that any new discovery is all a lie

64) Book smarts are fine as long as she knows that book smarts mean nothing unless you know
the practical side of it.

65) Must not be so insecure that if she sees me talkin to some girl she automatically assumes im either cheating on her or gonna leave her.

66) Must know that my conversations with her should under no circumstances be discussed with to any of my friends and can only be told to a few of hers.....

67) No getting other people involved in our fights...i fight with u....u call me and sort it out....u fight with me.....dont make me call u 59 times before u actually decide to answer (someone did that once) so that we can clear shit out.

68) Should not be hung over a previous boyfriend.....i dont wanna be the re bound guy again

69) Should not be a psycho

70) Well a little psychotic is ok.....minor obsessions is fine.

71) Must not force your beliefs on me.

72) Should already believe what i believe....hehehe

73) Should not think that 11.30 p.m. is late

74) Must be comfortable with coming home and waking me up in the morning if necessary.....

75) Must be willing to run her fingers through my hair and kinda sorta scratch my head

76) Must be willing to feed me....not really a necessity but it'll be nice to know that she wont leave me if my hands fall off and i cant eat by myself.

77) Must like lying on my lap or shoulder and snuggling up......its a nice thing to happen.....

78) Must know that when i give her a line like i'll only break up with you for hillary duff......its a distant dream....not even a distant reality.....so dont you dare even think of crying.....that just says one thing.....YOUR STUPID

79) I'm like caviar.....rare, expensive, and an acquired taste....i may not say the nicest things.....but the things that i do more than make up for it.....hence the saying actions speak louder than words

80) Dont even think of having a normal sane love only relationship with me......you may like it but i sure as hell will get bored with you in a few weeks.....i need the fights (fake fights, insignificant fights, stupid fights, but not the real stuff) if there are no fights its like eatin maltesers or snickers or mars bars for the rest of your life.....you'll get so bugged with all the sweetness that you will sell your soul for one single chili....thats why indian food is extremely spicy and the indian sweets are extremely sweet.....it is like that in order to create a balance

81) NEXT is the name of a store.....so if i ever say i wanna go to next....dont even think of giving me some dumb ass look and say something like what is next....ill just wanna run you over.

82) Me eating green stuff is a rare thing.....you wanna impress my mom....get me to eat it.....wanna impress me.....convince me to diet......

83) Puking after eatin is not a pretty image in my head......dont even think of becoming another BLAIR WALDORF.....(yes i watch gossip girl.....call me gay later)

84) Must understand that just because she comes and picks me up in her car.....doesnt mean that im gonna sit in the passengers seat.....shift your ass over to the passenger seat shut your mouth coz i hate sittin in the passenger seat.....unless you want me to start fidgeting with the air conditioner and the stereo......NO......i'm gonna drive and thats final.

85) Cleaning my room is a nice touch as long as it doesnt occupy all your time spent with me.....woman my room is gonna be a mess 5 minutes after your out that door.

86) Must know how to cook....at the very least breakfast and dinner.

88) Must be able to tolerate my father's nonsense.

89) Must understand that while work might come in the way of the relationship, it doesn't mean that I don't love you anymore.

90) Must not be an alcohol lover...drinking is fine but but overdoing it just pisses the hell outta me.

91) Dog lover is a must, being allergic is fine, they make pills for that.

92) Would be nice if we do break up, we would still remain friends.

93) Would be nice if she knew someone who was a lesbian.

94) Must be a mature woman who loves to play and have fun with me, children can go play elsewhere and with other people.

95) Must not be so childish that she hates people for stupid reasons, this is also an extension of the point above.

96) Must be a working woman, or a woman who understands what it actually is like to work for your future.

97) TV watching is a must, join me, don't stay away and whine later.

98) Being extremely pedantic and slightly dogmatic is in my nature, can't seem to avoid it....deal with it.

99) After a while, friends and family are as important to me as you will be, so don't whine, don't cry, don't fight, work with me, fighting results in bad bad mojo.

100) She must be exactly like (this is where i fill in the name of the person I marry) which ends the list.

And I'm DONE

Political Alliances

We have just finished another round of elections and the oaths have been taken by hopeful ministers with the freshly handed out portfolios.


This post is more on the lines of the elections, the rules governing the election process and the strategy adopted by parties to gain control of the country. While overlooking the selection of the ministers.


A while ago I had a facebook status that posed my belief that post-election political alliances should be made a last resort and should be outlawed if political parties stated that they would not contest along with another party but rather against them.
Confused? Let me explain.


Let's take three parties as examples of my point, the Indian National Congress (INC), the Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP) and the Janata Dal-Secular (JDS).
The JDS contested the elections in Karnataka against the Congress and the BJP in the hope to prove that they have not been pushed aside by the majority of the citizens of Karnataka. Congress too lost miserably, and the BJP won. Even before the results were announced the newspapers had Kumaraswamy running off to the congress to try a last minute attempt at an alliance.


A system should be put in place: all alliances (if any) should be announced while candidates go around the state contesting, at the very most it should be announced 5 days in advance of the elections in that state.

Let me explain the reason for this thought process; if a person that wishes to exercise his right to vote is presented with a list of candidates from various parties in a particular constituency, he/she should know whether or not the party that he/she votes for is not going to switch sides just to gain power.


Example: If I vote for JDS because I agree with their ideologies and support their action plan and also believe that they are more competent to rule the country, but I believe that neither the INC or the BJP are competent enough to run the country due to whatever reason. This means that my vote is for the JDS alone and my vote should not be used as leverage to gain a seat in Lok Sabah for some random guy.

If the JDS announced that they would be partnering with the congress and I still voted for them then my vote is not only for the JDS but also for the INC and not the BJP. Which meant that if the BJP won then the person I voted for has no right to change alliance or attempt to change alliances just because someone else won.
Let me put it another way, if I voted for the INC and not the BJP or the JDS, and they were all contesting the elections in the state alone without any alliances, that would mean that I in no way believe that the JDS nor the BJP are competent enough or qualified enough to lead this country into a new golden age. There is therefore an indirect agreement between me and the INC that I wish for them to rule and not the latter two. If however after the INC winning the elections they form an alliance with the JDS I should have the right to rescind my vote as there is a breach of trust. I trusted them to rule the country or state and not the JDS.

This post-poll alliance should be deemed undemocratic as it seems to translate to a point that although we elect them they are free to do with our vote as they see fit. No! We are a democratic nation, a Nation for the people, by the people and of them people, not a nation for the politicians, by the politicians of the people!

Pre-poll alliances are a different case altogether. It shows a certain level of transparency between the people and the politicians. We are in a constant dire need of transparency in the way the government functions. It clearly states who supports who and which parties will share the same goals if elected into power.

Opinions please!

Identity? History? Memory Loss?

It's been a while since I've written anything, but that is because nothing till recently really caught my attention and filled my desire to rant on about it. I might offend some if not a lot of religions people, followers and devotee's but what I have to say needs to be said and must be thought about by you the reader. Now to it.

I've been watching the news off-late (yes, me, news, I do watch it once in a while) and listening to all this talk of politicians separating on the basis of religion, and desires. No one politician seems to be using religion, wants, needs and desires to unite India. No one says, "I am a proud Indian, a loyal Indian, and a your representative." Why? Well here is the answer, it's too difficult not only the illiterate public to comprehend, but also for the idiotic politicians to comprehend when it comes to elections but not too difficult when they need or want help or publicity.

Let me give you a few examples of what I am talking about:

- When Bombay (yes Bombay, I refuse to acknowledge it as Mumbai) got attacked not only in November last year, but in the years before, the whole nation, Bombay residents and almost every Indian who knew about it was willing to help, was willing to chip in and do the right thing. But just before the bombing, and hostage taking political party members decided to go on a rampage and attack Indian visitors or residents of Maharashtra on the grounds that they weren't from Maharashtra, virtually telling the country they don't want outsiders in their state.

- Karnataka, and Kanadiga movie producers blamed movies that were not in Kannada for their loss in revenues. They tried all sorts of crap, delaying Hindi and English movies buy some 4-7 weeks. Did that even help? No! As a matter of fact as a result the piracy business would have simply reaped the benefits (which might have actually been the real reason for the loss in revenue you Einsteins) and profits from their decision.

- Babari Masjid, well from what I know of the story, they demolished a mosque because it was built on the exact spot that Ram was born. They demolished it on that pretext to therefore build a temple. Why? Honestly, there was a temple next to the mosque, and doesn't the Bhagavad-Gita instruct: "A man should not hate any living creature. Let him be friendly and compassionate to all." Then again so does the Bible and the Qur'an, but so many of the religious leaders behave like politicians and preach statements that tend to contradict these lines which thankfully is the basis of all religion.

Promote peace!!!

The British saw each and every state behave in this manner and knew that the best was to conquer the sub-continent was to Divide and Rule and they used that policy to get us to destroy ourselves.

Have we not learnt anything from our past, we are a young nation with a rich history; linguistically, religiously, culturally. No other nation can truly boast of having so many languages, dialects, cultural differences and identities and still call themselves a a nation. We, for a nation, are quite a young nation, 62 years of freedom, but not true freedom. Even for independence we didn't really fight as one, they Muslim's fought as one, the Hindu's fought as one and each one fought for the formation of their own state or country, and the British did it again, they divided us and are now letting someone else use our differences to against each other.

Little do people want to remember that some enlightened Hindu's and Muslim's fought along side each other for our Independence because they knew that the only way we as a race could ever move forward was as one.

Today politicians use similar tactics in order to gain votes, virtually throwing us into a state of taking one step, forward two steps back. But this is sadly not only being done on a religious level, it seems to be taking place on any level, just as long as the votes come in and they have a slight hope of getting to the top and doing what they feel is best for the country.

Let me try and enlighten some people out there, the best thing for our country is peace, tolerance, acceptance, and most importantly forgiveness. This strangely are principles on which every religion I know is based on. What also needs to be done is educate, and facilitate. I will bet that there are plenty of people out there (especially politicians) who walk around saying, "I didn't do my Undergraduate or post graduation or even diploma in anything and look where I am, and how rich (fat and rich) I am."

People like Amitabh Bachchan, Shah Rukh Khan, Govinda, Sanjay Dutt are believers in education and they support parties that in their own little way promote education by putting it on their agenda, but not one of them (I don't mean the actors) take an active role in promoting it. They seem to put it on their agenda and forget about it.

Here's another thing our politicians seem to be obsessed with doing, making people feel like their state culture is being eroded and they must do everything to promote their own state culture by changing the names of cities. Here's a thought if you really want to do something people will really appreciate you for: I know this might be a hard concept to grasp for some of you but I shall give it a shot, why don't you try Improving the state of affairs of the people who voted you into power, not by giving them colour televisions but by helping to improve their living conditions, their minimum income per year, their literacy rate, their education level. Remember the saying, give a man a fish you have fed him for a day, teach him to fish and you have fed him for a lifetime. These are all just ideas off the top of my head that would have benefited from the amount of money invested into changing the god damn name of the city.

So to sum up people here's how you can help, remember the past, how we got into the whole mess of getting conquered. Promote peace, forgiveness, and tolerance. Open your eyes to the world and evils around you, research, look to your religious books not the preachers, because as Christian priests have proved you can't really trust them (with the whole child abuse thing). And always remember that when you vote for someone or follow someone for their radical beliefs, remember that while it may not affect you in a negative way it might affect your neighbour or friend or employee or employer or even someone who helps you out. Also remember that you must think about the consequences of your actions, the consequences that may not affect you but might affect the prosperity of your country and your fellow man.